Love Songs for the Future Divorcee…#Valentine #SoundtrackSunday

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SountrackSundayValentines

My experiences in relationships hasn’t given me much cause to sing the praises of love. As it turns out, the hopelessly romantic aren’t great when it comes to recognizing flaws in would-be partners or determining compatibility. So, I have found myself in more than enough toxic and unstable relationships. These types of relationships can only lead to breakups, or (in my most recent one) divorce.

Sitting on the edge of a failed marriage and an impending divorce, you could understand how I might not be in the mood to “share the love” this Valentine’s Day. I’m warning you now, if you’re all hopped up on boxed chocolates, this may not be the post for you. There will be no singing birds and blooming flowers…only the melancholy of a bitter future divorcee.

My Marriage

The less I say the better but if I had to choose one song to explain the dynamic in my marriage, it would be “One Week” by the Barenaked Ladies. It’s a whimsical outlook on a dysfunctioning relationship. For a while, our arguments were “cute” and even enduring. However, after 3 children and thousands of “disagreements”, the novelty wore off and I learned how much is lost when two people stay in a relationship that is dysfunctioning.

Through the Divorce

Breaking up is never as quick and painless as we want it to be. When it’s five years, three children and a legally binding marriage certificate, I’m finding that the “pulling back” factor is amplified. Maybe it’s because there was such a large dynamic of the push and pull in our marriage…maybe it’s because it’s bittersweet to be breaking ties with someone who was once your everything…maybe it’s because it’s because my idealistic brain still clings to the idea of a happy ending. At the end of the day, I remember the reasons why we are better people apart…this is the song that reminds me of that and keeps me grounded in my “weaker” moments.

In the End

“I guess I just lost my husband…I don’t know where he went…I’m going to drink my money…I’m not going to pay his rent”

There comes a point in every breakup, separation or divorce that you just have to put your head up and own it. That’s where I am right now. I hear all the whispers behind my back…I know that there is a camp of people forming who have issue with the fact that I walked out on my marriage. It’s almost that I’m less of a woman because I have a mind of my own and I have the power to walk out on a situation that wasn’t healthy…To those people, I say “So What”…Until you have walked a mile in my shoes, you can never understand how much I fought for my marriage…you can never understand my reasons for leaving and quite frankly, I’m tired of explaining them.

Honorable Mentions

*All songs are linked to respective YouTube videos

Sara Bareilles-King of Anything

Liz Phair-Divorce Song

Evanescence-My Immortal

The Avett Brothers-Open Ended Life

 

Soundtrack Sunday Week 3: Love Songs…#ValentinesDay

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SountrackSundayValentinesIt’s Week 3 and Valentine’s Day is upon us! Fittingly, this week is all about love.

Good or bad, every love life has an anthem. This week, share the anthem(s) of your love life with us as we prepare for the upcoming Valentine’s Day holiday. It’s pretty straight forward so I don’t think any “tips” are really necessary. I will remind you that you can use more than one song if you need to, to show us the ups and downs throughout your love life or you can stick to one song that really speaks of your love life “right now”. You can take whatever route you want to with this: share your “sexy” songs, the songs that remind you of your first love or even share a breakup song.

Also, I know it’s a bit early to start doing stuff for Valentine’s Day but if I do it next week, it will be after the holiday. Somehow, that doesn’t feel right and maybe this little “exercise” will help you get into the “groove” ; ) of the holiday spirit. You can use one of the “special” buttons for Valentines or stick with the “old faithful” buttons. I will include them all in this post.

If you’re new, get started by checking out the main challenge page here.

Lastly, if you have any questions about the blog challenge or feel you can contribute to it, in any way, email me at acwilliswriting@gmail.com.

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