Coming Out and Coming Home Chapter 10

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By 11:00, they had smoked an entire bowl, eaten all the bacon and drank all the orange juice. Julie’s bladder was full and so she decided to finally get out of bed. She used the bathroom as Logan stood in the doorway and recounted what he remembered from the night before.

 

He went to George’s with a group of people and they drank, a lot. There was kareokee…somebody got mad…yada…yada….yada….

 

The only thing Julie could think about was how great it felt to piss but she was glad to have Logan’s voice, filling the space in her empty apartment. Once she had finished peeing, wiped and pulled up her own Tomboy boxer briefs, she noticed Logan was staring at her, wordlessly.

 

“What?” She asked self-consciously.

 

Logan answered without cracking a smile. “I seriously thought you peed standing up. I guess you just proved me wrong.”

 

“You DICK!” Julie exclaimed and threw a roll of toilet paper at him.

 

They both laughed and Julie rolled her eyes in the mirror.

 

She yawned at her reflection and noticed that she looked like a pile of warm shit.

 

“How do you do it, man?” She asked. “You had a ROUGH night but you’re up early making breakfast and shit…and you look amazing?”

 

Logan thought about it. “I’m Irish,” he replied. Then he gave Julie her favorite, impish smile.  

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Coming Home and Coming Out Chapter 9

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Back at her apartment, she stripped Logan down into nothing but his boxer briefs, laid him on the couch and placed an empty wastebasket next to his head. In all this, he said nothing. Julie wiped his auburn brown hair out of his eyes, tucking it behind his ear with one finger. Then, she kissed him on the forehead and walked to her desk.

 

Mama Rosa’s pizza was still smiling at her from the screen. Behind her, she could hear Logan vomit in the wastebasket and then groan. Julie sighed, closed the lid on the laptop, fixed him a cup of water and then collapsed in her own bed. Within a moment, she was fast asleep and the weight that had collected on her melted away.

 

The next morning, Julie awoke to the smell of bacon and coffee. She glared at the clock on her bedside table. It was 9:00 am. She covered her head in her pillow, protesting the start of a new day. Just as she had decided she would spend the day in her bed, 10,000 Maniacs floated from the kitchen and crawled under her head pillow.

 

“Becuase the night belongs to lovers

Because the night belongs to us.”

 

Logan’s voice joined in on the second refrain and Julie couldn’t help it. She lowered the pillow from her head and joined in.

 

“Have I doubt when I’m alone

Love is a ring, the telephone

Love is an angel disguised as lust

Here in our bed until the morning comes.”

 

Logan was leaning on the frame of the doorway, still dressed in only his boxer briefs. He held a plate piled with bacon and a glass of orange juice. His blue eyes were squinted and his lips were pursed in a boyish grin. Julie envied his beauty.

 

He raised one eyebrow. “We have to stop meeting like this” he teased then walked to the bedside, placed the plate of bacon and orange juice on the bedside table, and sat down on the bed beside Julie.

 

Julie chuckled and took a piece of bacon off the plate. Between chews, she said “I hope this is turkey bacon”.

 

Logan huffed, reached in his pocket and produced a small glass pipe. “Wake and bake?” He asked. He did not wait for an answer before he lit the bowl and took the green hit….and so they smoked.

 

As they smoked, they talked. They talked about nothing in particular. He didn’t mention Tawny and she didn’t mention Michael. The pair just existed in the moment. It was so effortless to exist like this with Logan.

 

“If all boys were like you, Logan” Julie mumbled.

 

Logan was mid sentence in a rant about postmodern-something when Julie said these words. His sentence erupted in a deep laugh. When Julie didn’t laugh back, he tilted his head to the side, frowned and added, “What? You would make me your wife?”

 

Julie laughed too hard. When they both composed themselves, she added seriously. “If all boys were like you, it wouldn’t be so hard to at least pretend, you know?”

 

Logan rested his head on her chest and sighed. “I know, Jewel…I know.”

 

They lay like this for a while and the feeling hung between them. They were drawn to one another because of the commonality of their fears and regrets. They had both given up something to embrace their true selves and for this, they would always be bound.

 

“THIS is community.” Julie thought and she realized that Logan was more family to her than anyone back in *town name*. Then, she remembered the invitation, the phone call, and the wedding.

 

“I’m going home,” she said.

 

Logan huffed. It was a small gesture but Julie knew that she didn’t have to say any more. He got it and this is why she loved him so. She never had to explain herself to him.

 

After another moment, Logan sat up, put the pipe to Julie’s lip and lit it for her. She took a long hit from the pipe and as she did, she stared at Logan. His lip was busted, why hadn’t she noticed it the night before.

 

Once she had exhaled a thick plume of smoke, she said “Your lip.”

 

Logan raised his fingers to the busted spot, self consciously, lowered his eyes and muttered “Yeah.”

 

This was the entire exchange on the matter. She didn’t press for any more information. She knew him too. Instead, she took the pipe, pressed it to his lips and lit it for him. As he inhaled, she vowed to kill Michael next time she saw him.

Coming Out and Coming Home Chapter 8

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Back at her apartment, she stripped Logan down into nothing but his boxer briefs, laid him on the couch and placed an empty wastebasket next to his head. In all this, he said nothing. Julie wiped his auburn brown hair out of his eyes, tucking it behind his ear with one finger. Then, she kissed him on the forehead and walked to her desk.

 

Mama Rosa’s pizza was still smiling at her from the screen. Behind her, she could hear Logan vomit in the wastebasket and then groan. Julie sighed, closed the lid on the laptop, fixed him a cup of water and then collapsed in her own bed. Within a moment, she was fast asleep and the weight that had collected on her melted away.

Coming Out and Coming Home Chapter 7

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When Julie woke up, she had 15 new missed calls. She was groggy when she picked up her cell phone and checked the call log. Tawny had called 4 times. The other 11 missed calls were from Logan.

 

“Shit” she muttered and she fought her eyes awake enough to find the clock in her living room. It was 1:45am.

 

“FUCK!”

 

She dialed the phone with shaky hands and paced while it rang 1…2….3 times…Voicemail…

 

“Fuck, fuck fuck!”

 

She tried again. This time, Logan answered on the first ring.

 

“Where are you, is everything okay?”

 

The voice on the other line was slow and slurred. The only words she could make out were “Michael’s” and “Locked out” followed by a string of obscenities and what she thought sounded like pounding fists on the door.

 

“Logan!” She spoke sternly into the phone. “Stay there. I’m coming. Whatever you do, don’t go anywhere and DON’T pound on the door anymore. Just sit there quietly. I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” Silence….”Logan, I’m serious. You don’t want to make him mad.”

 

“Okay” Logan muttered.

 

‘Click”

Coming Home and Coming Out Chapter 6

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When Julie woke up, she had 15 new missed calls. She was groggy when she picked up her cell phone and checked the call log. Tawny had called 4 times. The other 11 missed calls were from Logan.

 

“Shit” she muttered and she fought her eyes awake enough to find the clock in her living room. It was 1:45am.

 

“FUCK!”

 

She dialed the phone with shaky hands and paced while it rang 1…2….3 times…Voicemail…

 

“Fuck, fuck fuck!”

 

She tried again. This time, Logan answered on the first ring.

 

“Where are you, is everything okay?”

 

The voice on the other line was slow and slurred. The only words she could make out were “Michael’s” and “Locked out” followed by a string of obscenities and what she thought sounded like pounding fists on the door.

 

“Logan!” She spoke sternly into the phone. “Stay there. I’m coming. Whatever you do, don’t go anywhere and DON’T pound on the door anymore. Just sit there quietly. I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” Silence….”Logan, I’m serious. You don’t want to make him mad.”

 

“Okay” Logan muttered.

 

‘Click”

Coming Out and Coming Home Chapter 5

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She hadn’t really thought about home in a while. Not like this. Home was a weird concept to Julie. She had made a life in the city but it never felt like home. Home was a distant thing, like the love her mother had for her.

 

But now, as she lay on her couch in her empty condo staring at the ceiling, her mother’s words echoed in her head. “I can’t wait to see you, you know” and then “I’ll see you soon”. Julie felt nauseous.

 

How long had it been since she had been to that place?

 

“3 years” a small voice answered in her head.

 

“3 years” Julie repeated aloud. Then she fell quietly asleep.

#BeQuotable…Day 11…Quote From TV…@OITNB…Orange is The New Black

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Great graphic poster. And even funnier saying. Orange is the new Black

“I can’t do shit with sorry.” ~Red, Orange is the New Black

Orange is the New Black is hands down, my favorite TV show, right now…why? Two words: Alex Voss!!!!!!!!!! Okay, maybe I’m not that shallow but I do appreciate the show for giving us some quality, and well rounded (and mostly, really hot), lesbian characters…so thumbs up on that…Actually, characterization is great, across the board on this show and the plots are intense and interesting but still provide plenty of laughable moments…and because (let’s face it), we’re all imprisoned in some way…. It’s just a really great show!

I love this particular quote because Red is one of my favorite characters. I love how tough she is, while still remaining nurturing and motherly at the same time. I would like to think, if I went to prison, I would be Red. I know this feeling well. I think it’s easy to get the point where “I’m Sorry” just stops working…seeing becomes believing and some action must be made to PROVE regret…it’s not enough, just to hear it.

Why I DON’T hate Phil Robertson…#DuckDynasty

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Let me start out by saying that I am not in the target demographic for A&E’s Duck Dynasty…I am liberal, Pagan, and although I come from a small town, I am  not very country. I am also a friend of the LGBT community. For a long time, I actually refused to watch the show because of comments about the “Pagan Holiday, Halloween” made on the show. Most of my friends and family, on the other hand, love the show and so when my 4 year old son decided he loved it as well, I actually set down to watch it.

I found out that it wasn’t that bad and although it doesn’t appeal directly to me, I think the family is a lovely one. So, when I heard the buzz surrounding Phil Roberston’s allegedly “anti-gay” comments, I was surprised. It always appeared to me that the family was a loving one and love doesn’t mesh well with ill tolerance. I had been burned before by judging someone in the media without actually understanding what that person said that was taken as negative. So, I did some research.

Here is what Phil Robertson actually said:

“Everything is blurred on what’s right and what’s wrong. Sin becomes fine,”

“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men. Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers — they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.”

He also made some borderline lewd comments about which anatomy he himself prefers but I will spare you those comments.

As a liberal, Pagan friend of the LGBT community, I am trying to be offended by these comments. I mean, that is what I’m supposed to do, right? I’m supposed to be offended by his opinion because it speaks directly against what I believe to be true. That’s how America works, right?

Not exactly.

See, I disagree whole heartily with Phil Robertson. I don’t think that homosexuality is a sin or an abomination. I don’t think it’s a choice and I certainly don’t think that the gay community can be blamed for the downfall of our nation. In fact, we have much bigger problems to worry about…like the greed and materialism creating a huge gap between the classes in our nation…but Robertson covered that, too, didn’t he?

There’s a fine line between bashing something and simply having an opinion about it. What Phil Robertson did, in my book, doesn’t constitute bashing. He was simply giving his opinion on things and he did so without using anti-gay slurs or insulting the gay community. He did it with scripture…The scripture he is referencing is 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 and it reads:

“Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” (NIV)

Surprised that I just quoted the Bible? Well, I have had this discussion with my largely Christian and conservative family, many times. The main point that I make is that in order to condemn homosexuality, you must also condemn adulterers, the greedy, dunkards, slanderers, swindlers, ect. You can also argue against it by saying that since it wasn’t a teaching of Jesus Christ, it doesn’t “count” as a pentacle of Christian faith.

There are many more arguments against this scripture and the belief that Homosexuality is a sin…I’ve heard it all and said it all. At the end of the day, I just had to accept that some people in this world don’t accept homosexuality. I had to accept that it was okay for someone to have a difference in opinion which counters my own. I had to apply the tolerance I was preaching to the other side.

After all, when we’re protesting in the streets for gay rights, what are we actually fighting for? Are we fighting for the right to have our own opinions on it or are we fighting to change everybody else’s opinions? Because, if we choose the latter, how are we any different than the groups which have oppressed our voices for decades?

See, what I want for the world is equal rights. Now think for a moment about what equality really means. Equality does not mean that nobody will ever question your opinion…it does not mean that one group can shut down the opinions of another group simply because they don’t like it. It does not mean that we persecute Phil Robertson for expressing his faith in his own way.

So, while I disagree with him, I feel okay NOT hating him. I’m okay in letting him express his opinion, even if it makes me cringe a little. I’m sure the cast of Duck Dynasty won’t be inviting someone like me to set down at their dinner table anytime soon but I’m also sure that they don’t hate people like me, either. In fact, Robertson said he doesn’t hate people who are different than him. If he had said he hates gay people, this post would be an entirely different kind of post.

The fact of the matter is that he doesn’t hate gay people…and why are we focusing our anger toward him when we still have the folks of the Westboro Baptist Church running around?