Coming Out of Hiding….#Nanowrimo…@NaNoWriMo

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Another year has passed: a full 365 days of work, and kids and friends and parties. It has been a good year but a non-productive one, literarily speaking. My writing over the past year has been sporadic to non-existent, leaving my followers to wonder about my wellbeing.

So I’m writing this post to let everyone know that I have not been abducted by aliens or eaten by a Hungry Hippo. I have not contracted a flesh-eating disease or Polio. Finally, and contrary to popular belief, I have not decided to trade my life of luxury to live in a cave, amongst a pack of wolves.

I have been living a beautifully charmed life. My children are growing and learning to read and write and create stories of their own. I have a new job, working in a Toxicology lab and I’m gearing up for a new tax season with H&R Block. I met a beautiful woman and so my circle of (already amazing) family and friends is growing, as we begin to build a life together.

With all this, comes struggle…struggle to balance it all, to find time to think and feel and quench the thirst that is writing…

And the struggle is real!

So, again, I am thankful for the beginning of National Novel Writing Month because my commitment to it will force me to make time for writing (something that I have failed at miserably for the majority of 2015).

At this point, I’m a veteran of sorts. As I begin my third Nanowrimo novel, I know exactly what to expect from the month-long sprint to write 50,000 words of a perfectly imperfect novel.

This year, I’m doing something different. I generally write Sci-fi, Fantasy, or Horror Fiction (YA optional). This year, I will be writing a Women’s Fiction novel (VERY tentatively) titled: Coming Out and Coming Home. 

Basically, the novel centers around the MC as she travels home to her very small home town to attend the wedding of the first girl she ever kissed…and so it shall be a novel about coming out and coming home. It shall be full of romance and dysfunctional family dynamics.

And of course, I’m pantsing it.

I have had literally no time to develop characters or setting. Shit, I don’t even really know what the full plot line is going to be yet. All I know is that this story is personal. It’s a way of connecting to a part of my own life’s story. It’s a scary thing, to flesh out something so close to my heart…to put it into written word and make it a real breathing thing to share with others.

But really, this year’s Nano novel isn’t for others. It’s for me…I feel certain that this novel will be the closest to my heart of anything I have ever written…

And that’s the best motivation I could ever hope for.

So, good luck to all my fellow Nano participants! May you win and if you don’t, you shall certainly end the challenge with plenty value! I welcome all the contact and you can follow the links below to find me on the social medias….after all, the greatest thing about National Novel Writing Month is finding a community of authors that can relate to the insanity that is the waking of the sleeping mind.

All My Social Medias

Facebook

Twitter

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Instagram

Scribophile

Goodreads

NaNoWriMo

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#BeQuotable…Day 17….Quotes About Challenge

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Image Credit: James O'Brien

Image Credit: James O’Brien

“Your perspective on life comes from the cage you were held captive in.”
Shannon L. Alder

The Greatest Challenges that any of us have to overcome is the little boxes that society tries to place us in. For me, it was ADD, Small Town, Woman, Same Sex Attraction, Heathen, and Deviant (to name a few). These are the labels I wear around and people want to typecast me based on these facts about myself. Each presents its own set of challenges and obstacles that I must cross in order to be included in a society, who clearly rejects me. I like this quote because it, essentially, gives us the answer to overcoming these challenges….do not allow yourself to be defined by the box but rather define your existence based on your view from the box. It’s a beautiful sentiment and great motivational words to live by.

 

#BeQuotable…Day 15…Quote to Live By…@PatRothfuss…#KingkillerChronicles

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The Wise Man's Fear, Patrick Rothfuss

The Wise Man’s Fear, Patrick Rothfuss

“It’s the questions we can’t answer that teach us the most. They teach us how to think. If you give a man an answer, all he gains is a little fact. But give him a question and he’ll look for his own answers.”
Patrick Rothfuss, The Wise Man’s Fear

This is the kind of quote that did not change my thinking but, rather, validated it. I was born with a defect….the kind of defect that lives in the brain and dictates behavior. It is the kind of defect that horrified my teachers, pastors and parents. I was born without the ability to simply accept anything as truth…to take the world at face value. Sure, ignorance is easier…more comfortable but I can’t live life that way. I don’t believe anything that I haven’t discovered myself. As a result, I find myself always taking the hard road; finding things out the hardest ways; and living the most honest life that I know. I am not without faith…but my faith is one of my own making. I am not without knowledge…but the knowledge I possess I have searched and worked to gain. I am stubborn, unmovable, and relentless at times but I am secure, curious, and strong. So, this is the code of my existence….to be continually asking questions…to always search for answers….and to live a life based on my own truth.

#BeQuotable…Day 14….A Quote that Describes Me…

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“I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat, or a prostitute.” ~Rebecca West

#BeQuotable…Day 13…Quotes about Sadness…#Depression

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“I spent my life learning to feel less. Every day I felt less. Is that growing old? Or is it something worse? You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.” ~Jonathan Safran Foer

There is a place within us all…a hole…that we crawl into when things get bad. When the rolling tides of sadness rush upon us, we move into this spot, to weather the storm. One day, I moved in and forgot, for a while, to move back out. It was the easy thing to do, because being present in the moment…because feeling meant that I had to endure the pain and negativity that lived around me….because not living in the hole meant that I might have to believe the words that were said to me. I lost something, valuable, in that hole. Before I crawled in, I had a hopelessly idealistic view of the world…people are, inherently, good…the world is a good place…Before all this happened, sadness was temporary…it was natural… It was something that came and went with the ups and downs of human life. I had never, before, experienced the type of sadness that comes around and stays for a while. The kind of sadness that flows through your blood and poisons your mind. I never knew that sadness could feel like a ball and chain…I didn’t know that it could ever weigh so much.

In my hole, I was safe from all this. I was numb but it was so hard to breathe….it was so hard to believe. I became the walking dead…soulless and muted…I moved through my days with little pleasure or excitement. I was still breathing but I had already stopped living. Under these circumstances, it’s impossible to feel happiness. The sadness just grows and grows and it starts to seep out of your body into the world around you. Then one day, you realize, you’ve become the sadness and there is not hope of ever feeling happy again….This is depression…Sometimes it occurs naturally and sometimes it is man made…Either way, it’s crippling…it’s not a disease but a state of being….a state of being overwhelmed and ashamed…a state of being toxic and unaware that good things exist in this world…It’s a state of blindness that resigns you to seeing only the grays and blacks in this world.

#BeQuotable…Day 12…A Quote That Reminds You of Someone

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“Never Love Anybody Who Treats You Like You’re Ordinary” ~Oscar Wilde

To me, there’s nothing worst than being ordinary, and so, when someone looks at you and never sees the magic beyond your eyes, you should never give them your love. I spent a long time doing this: giving love to those who saw me as nothing more than flesh and blood. In fact, I’m so much more…I know the things that make me more than ordinary and I will never give myself to anyone unless they can see me for something so much more than I appear to be.

#BeQuotable…Day 9…Movie Quotes…#DirtyDancing

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“I’m scared of everything. I’m scared of what I saw. I’m scared of what I did, of who I am…and most of all, I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you.” ~Dirty Dancing

I could list, literally, hundreds (maybe thousands) of movie quotes that are epically awesome, have touched me/made me feel something or that I find profound. I chose this particular quote for today’s post, not because it’s the best of my favorite movie quotes or one liners. I chose this quote because it was the first movie quote that I remember having a significant effect on me. I watched Dirty Dancing when I was 5 years old (5 years after the movie’s release) and most of the movie confused me, at that age. This particular scene, however, grabbed my attention and when Jennifer Grey delivered these lines, I got chills. It was the beginning of a wonderful relationship with movies. I understand, even then, the power that movies have on the viewer; the manner in which our movie watching experiences shape our thoughts, behaviors and realities. Movies are the most modern and relevant method of delivery for the written word….and I love really well written movies.

So, readers, I want to open the comment section up…I want to know what your favorite movie quotes are. *Comment Below*

#BeQuotable….Day 7….Lyrical @Sia

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“I had given up
I didn’t know who to trust
So I designed a shell
Kept me from heaven and hell
And I had hit a low
Was all I let myself know
Yeah I had locked my heart
I was imprisoned by dark” ~Sia

This quote touches me in all my tender places. I really don’t need to get into how I identify with these lyrics, because they speak for themselves. That’s the true power in music; to speak for a heart when that heart can’t find the words to speak for itself…and here is the entire song:

#BeQuotable…Day 6…Inspiration

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“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of Value.” ~Albert Einstein

Today’s quote is dedicated to my little Brother. Happy 21st Birthday. Today is the day that makes you a man. May you go forth, and look for value, rather than success. May you search for happiness and learn to walk upright. May you succeed at recognizing your own value, and giving it freely to the world. May you surround yourself with people who appreciate and support you. May you live…a life without borders.

#BeQuotable…Day 4…Family

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The great danger for family life, in the midst of any society whose idols are pleasure, comfort and independence, lies in the fact that people close their hearts and become selfish.  - Pope John Paul II

“The great danger for family life, in the midst of any society whose idols are pleasure, comfort and independence, lies in the fact that people close their hearts and become selfish.” ~Pope John Paul II